I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
