dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
