chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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