The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
