sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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