Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
