I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
