why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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