you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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