SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
