just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
