In the future we'll all be gay
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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