i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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