He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
