Plan B is the new Plan A
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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