Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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