I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
