I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
That reminds me...we need to get swords
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
