I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
