Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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