He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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