I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
cat food counts as protein by the way
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
