You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
