I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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