i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
