I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
