If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
