Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
