Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
