i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
