I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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