Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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