I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
