dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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