but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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