i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
