Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
