id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
