my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
