Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
