she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
