It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
