That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
