is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
