moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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