i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
