Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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