Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
