Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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