omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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