All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
