So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
