Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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